A message of encouragement

This message is for you if you have been struggling with your health and feel like throwing in the rope. You are strong. Much stronger than you know, but strength my friend, is a decision you have to make - sometimes over and over. Strength is not the absense of fear. Be afraid, that's okay, but keep going and when you think you can't, ignore that voice

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Strength is not the absense of fear. Be afraid, that's okay, but keep going and when you think you can't, ignore that voice.  

Being unwell in such a profound way that it disrupts your ability to lead a normal life can be scary and depressing. I've experienced this first hand and recall vividly how intense my focus on every aspect of how I felt became. I also felt as though I was forcing others to focus on me, even though this was not my intent. In all truth, I felt deep shame. I felt as if I was doing something wrong, somehow being a bad person and had the distinct feeling that I needed to apologise. I would start to wish for release from my body and mind and at the same time had a strong desire to just be present in my life again. Present in my work. Present in the lives of my friends and families. Present with nature. Even present with my future.

My ability to see a happy future had disappeared.  All future possibilities seemed impossible and ridiculous to entertain. I understand how pain or suffering shrinks your world until there is little space for anything else. Its okay. You are not selfish - it is called surviving! My entire life quickly became a question mark and it would have seemed easier to give up hope but the thing is...I would have missed out on regaining not only my future but a new and better future than I had imagined for myself.  There is hope, even if it is hard for you to see it right now. 


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